


They see me rollin'

by RussianSunflower3



Series: Seijou 4 Week; Sunflower style [14]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chapters progressively get longer, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Paraplegia, Seijou 4 Week, Surprises!, supportive friends, wheelchair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 16:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9556898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianSunflower3/pseuds/RussianSunflower3
Summary: It was just a school trip.Just an educational trip.He wanted to see the planets and stars.Then Matsukawa was falling, falling... And everything changed.





	1. The dreamer is damned.

“Travel safely!” Matsukawa waves goodbye to the rest of the team, getting on board a coach destined to take his class to a weekend trip at a science and space museum. Class 1 usually gets the worst trips, or none at all, so Matsukawa had snapped up the opportunity to attend one. 

Since the coach leaves at just gone 5, the volleyball team is still around to wave him off. It’s touching, really, though he can see Oikawa is _fucking bitter_. Still happy for Matsukawa, but a tad jealous. 

“I’ll get you something, Oikawa, don’t worry!” Just like that, there’s a sparkle in his grin again and his eyes light up.

“Be careful Mattsun, we’ll miss you!” He laughs as takes the last step onto the coach, shooting back one last comment before he goes to his seat and can only wave wordlessly. 

“It’s just one night! What could go wrong?” The coach has seatbelts, so Matsukawa sensibly buckles up and waves goodbye as the engine rumbles and the vehicle pulls out of the school grounds. 

He pulls across the curtain that all the fancy coaches have and pulls down both armrests so he can slouch comfortably. 

Whilst most classmates sit with their closest friends, Matsukawa chooses to sit along. His classmates respect his decision and leave him be, not pestering him at any point during the journey. Henceforth, he naps most of the way.

“Matsukawa-san… Matsukawa-san, wake up!” He grumbles back into life, only to met with the teachers disappointed and slightly frustrated expression.

“Everyone’s waiting for you, hurry up!” She turns around and leaves him to groggily follow after, yawning widely and wincing at the sunlight as he steps off the coach. A few of his classmates giggle or welcome him back to the land of the living, and he only smirks and waves nonchalantly. 

He’s on good terms with all but one of his classmates, and whilst he can’t call every single one of them friends, he’s one of the most liked in their year group. The teacher claps her hands to draw attention to herself and even if class 1 is rowdy, they’re still respectful because their homeroom teacher treats them like any other student, not just ‘the dumb kids’.

“Alright, I want everyone lined up in groups of four! Then I want half of you over here; starting at the interactive tour, and the other half by the coach; you’ll be starting at the planetarium!” Almost immediately, there’s a flurry of students getting into groups of fours as they head towards whatever they prefer. 

Matsukawa notes that the planetarium has the most volunteers - he’s pretty sure Oikawa would immediately bounce over there too - so he heads towards the interactive side. On the way, he teams up with three classmates.

A couple that are probably going to be looking at the stars in each others eyes more than in the planetarium, and… Ah. The one guy in Matsukawa’s class who doesn’t like him. Matsukawa doesn’t know why, but the guy is constantly sending him sneers and glares or making snide comments whenever Matsukawa struggles in class.

“Looks like I’m stuck with you.” Matsukawa rolls his eyes at the spite in this guy - Taro’s - voice. So it begins. He doesn’t respond, because honestly, he doesn’t want this situation to escalate. He’s here to have fun - maybe learn - and enjoy himself. Not get into arguments.

“Alright! Interactive side, you’re with me! Planetarium side, you’re with Aki-sensei!” The two groups cheer, and the planetarium side heads off one way, whilst the Interactive side go the other. This museum is unique for having two entrances and exits, allowing visitors to choose where they begin.

Their teacher signs them in as half of the school tour group, and addresses them all very seriously in the centre of the room, before they can split off.

“ _Stay_ in your groups! I’m absolutely serious, I don’t want a single one of you going off alone! This is for _your_ safety, more than anything else!” The students echo back a unanimous okay, but as soon as they’re in the building, they fracture and splinter amongst the displays and run off to what they want. 

Matsukawa snickers as he watches his teacher pinch the bridge of her nose in exasperation, before casually strolling off to look around.

Honestly, it’s interesting, but it’s not _that_ interesting. Shit’s bubbling over there, something just turned into a goo over there, and over that way, there’s a bunch of mirrors. Joy. He sighs, having thought this would be better. 

Maybe the planetarium would save him from the sheer boredom of the trip?

He strolls over to the staircase leading up to a huge telescope that pokes out the top of the museum. It’s the only way to access the planetarium, via the steps on the other side. Matsukawa heads up at a steady jog, one hand on the railing that’s at chest height for the average Japanese citizen.

Matsukawa, of course, is 16.5 centimeters taller than the average Japanese citizen. He walks closer to the wall than the rail, not wanting to risk falling over. He’s almost at the top of the curved stairway when, with his eyes fixed on watching the interactive section below, he walks straight into someone.

“Oof. Oh, I’m sorry-”

“What the _fuck_ is your _**problem**_?!” Matsukawa’s day is really not going well, and knowing he just bumped into Taro, who clearly hates him, makes it a little bit worse.

“Look, I’m sorry, man. I just wasn’t looking where I was going.” Taro throws his arms with with a snort, as if Matsukawa had insulted him instead. Matsukawa takes a step back, nearing the railing without meaning to.

“Too damn right! You’re always _’not looking’_ , like some oblivious dolt!” 

“Wha-?! I just apologised and stepped out of your way!”

“We can’t all be dreamers, Matsukawa-san! Maybe you should try focusing for once, instead of having your own head stuck in the clouds! Or up your own ass!” Matsukawa’s eyebrows lift with surprise. 

Where is _this_ coming from? Even if he’s a little bit of a daydreamer, and an asshole to his established friends when they’re in the mood for teasing, he’s never overstepped his boundaries! Especially not toward Taro, who he’s barely spoken to!

“Well, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to make you feel this way! Look, all I’m tryna do is get up the stairs, so why don’t we politely walk past each other and pretend this never happened?” Matsukawa’s lower back is pressed against the railings. He’s already unbalanced, but holding in place. As Taro walks past, he sneers in Matsukawa’s face, making him reflexly lean back.

And then Matsukawa is falling. He’s falling and tumbling and he only just catches a glimpse of Taro’s horrified face before something hits him- No, _he_ hits _something_ , and pain floods through from the base of his spine, an agonising fire that roars across all his limbs and he blacks out before he even hits the ground.


	2. Learning the truth

_‘God, I hate hospitals with a passion.’_

At first, Matsukawa is baffled by his first conscious thought. But then he recognises that the overly-clean scent he can smell is definitely a hospital room. Then there’s a stabbing sensation around his mid-back, which flares up the more he becomes aware of things around him. There’s a gasp to his left.

“Issei… Issei, you’re awake!” He’d recognise his mother’s voice anywhere. Groggily, he opens his eyes as he reaches an arm out to her, feeling her clasp his hand protectively. She’s warm.

“Yeah, Ma… I’m ‘wake…” She holds his hand a little tighter, and Matsukawa can see tears rolling down her cheeks. He frowns, not liking to see her so upset.

“Ma? What’s wrong?”

“I-Issei… Do you- Do you remember how you got here…?” Matsukawa closes his eyes for a second, taking a steady breath.

“I was falling. I was falling from… From the stairs. At the museum.” She nods with an affirmative hum, still crying silently, as if she’s holding back.

“And- And can you feel any pain now…?” Matsukawa attempts to shuffle, but he’s not very successful. Must be the morphine or something. He _did_ hit something as he fell. He must be on something for the pain.

“That’s good… That’s good…” His mother is still unusually quiet. Something is wrong. Drastically so. And it has to be with him, because he’s the only other person in the room. In a hospital bed!

“Ma… Ma, please… Tell me what’s wrong…” She shakes her head, a sob escaping, and Matsukawa wrestles with the weight of his body to try and sit up. But something isn’t right. Something is wrong, _very_ wrong.

“Wh-Why can’t I feel my legs? Ma, why can’t- Why can’t I feel my legs?! I-I can’t move them!” He starts to panic, and his mother rises from the bedside chair to place a hand on his chest, attempting to calm him as he stares wide-eyed at his unmoving legs, breath quickening and heart pounding.

“Issei, sweetheart, Issei.. Deep breaths, deep breaths, it’s okay…” His voice drops to just above a whisper as he asks her again.

“Why can’t I feel my l-legs?” A part of him, a little voice in the back of the mind, already knows the answer, but Matsukawa doesn’t want to accept it, doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He wants it to be wrong. The way his mother’s eyes overshadow with upset and sympathy lets him know it’s right.

“My back… I-I hit something as I fell, didn’t I? It’s- It’s broken, isn’t it?” She squeezes his hand with a tiny nod, unable to speak for the knot in her throat. For this to happen to her son, who had finally found happiness and direction in life with _volleyball_ , it’s a tragedy. 

No, worse. It’s his whole ambition, drive, and outlook for the future pulled from under him in an instance.

“How bad, Ma? Will- Will physical therapy help?” There’s a moment where all is silent, apart from usual hospital background noise.

“... No, sweetie…”

“R-Rehabilitation…?” She shakes her head solemnly, looking 20 years older.

“I’m sorry… It- The break-... Issei, you can’t walk.” He’s falling. Not like before. Not a physical fall, but tumbling into a dark place where his breath is stolen away and there’s lead in his stomach and bile in his throat-

He’s retching over the covers, nothing in his stomach to throw up as he heaves, feeling his sides shudder and quench. But not his lower back. He can’t feel his lower back. He can’t feel his legs. 

He can’t _move_ his legs.

“You have to let us in, we’re his friends!” There’s a ruckus outside and it pierces through the glazed veil of whatever Matsukawa was sinking into. He doesn’t know - but he’s highly aware he may not have returned. He recognises that voice.

“H-Hanamaki…” Matsukawa’s mother releases his hand gently to go over to the door, and Matsukawa hears her saying something about how he needs his rest. He draws in a huge gulp of air. He needs rest, yes. He needs time to process what’s happening, sure. But more than anything right now, he needs his friends.

“Let them in.”

“Issei…”

“Let them in!” Snapping at his mother might have been a little mean, but he wants to see them. 

No, he _needs_ to see them. His mother nods and pushes the door open wider. Standing there, with varying expressions of sadness, hurt, and concern… Are his three best friends.

Oikawa is already crying, bulbous tears dripping down his cheeks and forehead creased with distressed. 

Hanamaki sniffles, eyes wet and watery, but he smiles because Matsukawa is there, Matsukawa is awake, and he’s alive. 

Iwaizumi’s expression is pretty close to his mother’s when he first woke up - elated to see him but fraught with concern - and Matsukawa internally laughs at that.

“Matt _sun_!” Oikawa launches himself across the room, flopping right across the bed and knocking the remaining air out of Matsukawa’s lungs, hugging onto him tightly and sobbing into his shoulder. It makes Matsukawa want to cry too. Instead, he wraps his arms around Oikawa and holds him as close as he can, the hand in his hair running through it gently.

“Shh… It’s okay, I’m okay, I- I’ll be okay…” He’s not okay. He’s really not okay. He can’t _walk_. How can he play volleyball like this? There are other things as well. Stairs. The drop from pavement into the road. Everyday society. 

Sure, some places have disability access, but the majority? He’s stranded. A forgotten variable of humankind. 

Hanamaki steadily walks over to the other side of the bed, although his hands shake as he leans over Oikawa, pulling both of them into a hug of his own. He sniffles again, and then the tears start leaking with a few hiccups. Iwaizumi rubs his back, but honestly? Matsukawa thinks he’s about to start crying too, and if _Iwaizumi_ cries, the situation is definitely bad.

Well, he knew that already. 

“D-Don’t you dare c-cry, Iwaizumi! Don’t you dare! Y-You’ll set me o-off!” Iwaizumi rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes, voice pitching up when he responds;

“Y-You’re already crying, stupid!” That’s when the waterworks really start. Four teenage boys, bawling in a room, clamoured around the same bed. It’s a little pathetic, Matsukawa thinks… But it’s warm… It’s dearly warm… 

So warm he could… 

 

Just… Fall...

 

Asleep…


	3. Anger and helplessness.

It takes weeks for Matsukawa to be let out of hospital. Almost three months. He’s lucky, told that there are no physical complications other than what’s to be expected of paraplegia. He’s warned about autonomic dysreflexia, taught the symptoms to look out for. He wasn’t allowed to be released until he learnt them off by heart.

Learning what could trigger it was easy; he just memoried _“Bladder, ulcer, sex.”_. Of course, it’s a lot more complicated than that. 

He learns to check his catheter and keep it clean, as well as when and how to empty the bag that now serves as his bladder. He has to keep the drainage bag lower than his bladder, and make sure it’s connected at all times. 

Embarrassingly, he’s talked through checking his bowels too, and having an unfairly attractive doctor tell him about sexual functions with paraplegia was _really_ not his favourite thing. He spent half the hour with his flushed face hidden behind his hands.

Matsukawa still holds out hope. He’s told it’s incurable. He’s told he’ll never walk again. He’s told it’s permanent. But there has to be a way, there _has_ to be! 

With all the technological advancements, there’s gotta be a cure… Right? A- A helpful solution? The hospital ceiling is starting to get boring, and the first thing he’s going to do once he can stand again is get some colourful pens, and draw on it.

Doctors tell him it’s impossible. But Matsukawa lives in a state of denial. He’s just… Recuperating! That’s it! His nerves will fix themselves up and he’ll heal and he’ll walk! He can go back to school, back to volleyball, back to his _normal life_!

Hanamaki always looks away quietly when he speaks about it, as if he believes the doctors more than his best friend. It hurts, like a sting of betrayal, but he knows that Hanamaki is sensitive and doesn’t push it.

Oikawa always tears up and excuses himself from the room for a few minutes, coming back with red-rimmed eyes and some kind of distraction. At least he says sorry for leaving. Although Matsukawa would prefer some optimism.

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes at Matsukawa and bluntly tells him not to get his hopes up. For this exact reason, when Iwaizumi visits alone, Matsukawa doesn’t talk about it. He doesn’t _talk_ , full-stop. It feels almost like he’s pulling away, cutting off the ties of friendship, but Iwaizumi returns again and again.

4 days after returning home, he’s had enough. 

None of them seem to believe him. None of them have any faith in him whatsoever. It’s like… They’re abandoning him, despite constantly being around. They’re sitting in his room and talking, making sure to help him move every now and then so he doesn’t get pressure sores, when Matsukawa finally _snaps_.

“Why won’t any of you talk with me about what we’re gonna do in practice when I’m back?!” It goes silent. He can hear them breathing. Awkwardly, they look at each other before shuffling to face him and Matsukawa rolls his eyes with a snort.

“Mattsun… Issei, you’re not- You’re not going to.” He’s about to say something to Oikawa when Iwaizumi raises his hand to stop him, voice low and calm despite the way his voice breaks in the middle.

“There’s nothing anyone can do to reverse it. But we can help you through it.” Matsukawa’s fingers knot in his hair stressfully and his lips twist into a snarl. Lastly, he looks to Hanamaki, who only stares down at his lap. His eyes flicker up and he catches Matsukawa’s gaze, flinching.

“What about you, huh? Are you turning your back on me too? What side are you picking?” Hanamaki bites into his lip, shrinking in on himself. He picks at the carpet, only watching his own hand move.

“... There is no side, Issei… I- I think you need to accept-”

“Accept _**what**_?!” He’s shouting now. He’s shouting and his voice feels raw and his throat feels raw and his emotions are raw _raw **raw-**_

But he’s not the only one who’s temper flares quickly. 

Iwaizumi rises to his feet, hands balled into fists by his side and his eyebrows furrowed with hurt and stress and anger. There’s pain in his eyes, second-hand pain from watching his friend go through this, but Matsukawa doesn’t see it.

“That you can’t walk! You’re _paralysed!_ There isn’t a cure!” 

“Fuck you! What do you know!? You’re not a doctor!” Oikawa moves onto his knees, gently tugging Iwaizumi’s wrist, trying to get him to sit down and wait for their anger to settle before they try to speak again, but this is a problem that needs addressing and Iwaizumi won’t let it carry on with awkwardness and silence.

“No, I’m just repeating what the doctors are _telling_ you! Maybe try listening to them for a change!”

“I’ll listen to them when they tell me the truth! When they show me how to fix _this_!” Matsukawa gestures angrily towards his immobile legs, covered with a blanket because he can’t bear to look at them, even when he’s sat in bed and they’re the only thing he hasn’t stared at all day. Iwaizumi’s eyes soften with pity. He loses the tension in his arms and his shoulders slump.

“Are you even hearing yourself right now…? What happened to you, Issei?” Folding his arms, Matsukawa snorts.

“Well, I fell approximately 40 meters, broke my lower spine, was in hospital for _three months_ , constantly told to just give up, and stabbed in the back by people I thought were my friends.” He glares at them as he says the last part, venom coating his tone and his tongue a sharp blade. 

Oikawa gasps lightly, an intake of breath that fuels his trembling lips and watering eyes. Hanamaki’s jaw drops and he stares openly at Matsukawa in complete _agony_. Iwaizumi closes his eyes slowly, releases a slow exhale through his nose, and turns away.

“I see. If that’s how you feel, I’ll leave you to your delusions for today. See you tomorrow.” 

“Don’t bother! I don’t want to see you again! Any of you! Fuck off!” Oikawa slowly stands, his head low as he walks out the door that Iwaizumi holds open. Green eyes slide over to Hanamaki, still sitting in place. 

He’s crying, silent tears creeping down his cheeks. His teeth are gritted together to try and stop himself from sobbing, but he still looks at Matsukawa. He wills for Matsukawa to change his mind. To take it back. 

“Well!? Get out!” There’s- There’s nothing but fire in his voice and ice in his eyes. This isn’t the Matsukawa Hanamaki knows. This isn’t his best friend. A gentle hand lands on his shoulder and he jolts with a hiccup.

“Come on, Takahiro. We’ll come back tomorrow…” He makes a quiet sound of affirmation through a hiccup and takes the hand Iwaizumi offers him, walking out as guided to join Oikawa in the hallway, practically falling into an offered hug as Oikawa rubs his back, silent. The bedroom door clicks shut. 

“Hajime, what do we do…?” Iwaizumi sighs, eyes scrunched close as his head tilts up to face the ceiling. 

“God, I don’t know, Tooru. I just don’t know.”


	4. Shuffle shuffle

They keep returning. They keep coming back. They never leave. Even if all they do is sit in his room for 4 hours a day playing jan-ken-po, they _always_ come back. 

They- They care. 

They care **so** fucking much. It takes another two weeks before Matsukawa speaks to them again. 

“H-Hey guys?” They look over at him, giving him their full attention. Matsukawa sheepishly rubs the back of his head, the pattern on the blanket suddenly more interesting than the ceiling he’s been staring at the whole time they’ve been here.

“I- I’m sorry. I was an ass to you, when- When you were only trying to… To let me down gently…” Three matching smiles, gentle and understanding, dawn on their faces. Oikawa breaks into a beam, flashing his usual iconic peace signs.

“It’s okay, Mattsun~! We know what you’re going through is tough!” Hanamaki nods in agreement and gently pushes Oikawa’s exuberant gesture back down into his lap.

“It’ll take more than an angry outburst to get rid of us. We’re your friends, Issei. We’re not gonna abandon you when you need us most.” Matsukawa tears up a little. They’re good friends. They’re true friends. He takes the tissue Iwaizumi offers him and wipes his eyes with a shaky laugh.

“So, uh, what are we doing today?” Iwaizumi and Hanamaki share a grin as Oikawa makes an excited noise and ducks out of the bedroom before Matsukawa can ever blink.

“Wh-What?”

“We’ve been waiting for you to ask that!” As soon as the words are out of Hanamaki’s mouth, Oikawa reappears in the doorway with a… A folded up _wheelchair_!? His heart thumps in his chest and he can feel life starts to flow through his veins once more, replacing bitterness and anger with a rising hope.

“Where did you get that?!”

“It’s been sitting in your hallway for over a week. We- uh- We didn’t have much money and your Ma payed for most of it, but it’s- uh- It’s to help you get out and about again, instead of being trapped in your room all the time.”

“I can- I can go o-outside…?” His voice clogs with emotion and Hanamaki chuckles softly at him, not in a mean or teasing way, but more out of relief that Matsukawa is _finally_ talking to them again, and looking forwards to something. 

Iwaizumi nods as he and Oikawa unfold the wheelchair, Oikawa murmuring through the instructions as Iwaizumi follows them with half a heartbeat between words and action. They’ve always worked well together.

“Of course. You remember how to get from bed to chair, right?” With a slight huff, Matsukawa rolls his eyes in amusement.

“I only did it about 7 times a day in hospital. I’m sure I can remember _somehow_.” His sarcasm earns him a raised eyebrow, but he only smirks and shrugs at the attention as Iwaizumi shakes his head and puts the last bar in place on the wheelchair, making sure it won’t fold in on itself when Matsukawa sits in it.

“Alright, that should be good.”

“Bring it over here and hold it in place. Then _Don’t. Move._ At least not until I’m fully seated.” Oikawa moves the wheelchair right up against the bed, at a very slight angle. He holds it tightly, not daring to move a muscle. Matsukawa exhales. 

True, he’s done this many times before at the hospital, but he was always under supervision and there was medical assistance if something went wrong - which, the first few times he tried alone, did. This is the first time he’s tried to transfer from bed to chair on his own, at home, with no medical professionals nearby.

He rolls onto his side facing the chair and leans all his bodyweight on one arm, flat against the mattress, whilst the other tucks under his knees and tugging them closer to the edge of the bed. 

He ‘throws’ them over the edge and grunts as he adjusts to sit up straight, noticing the tension in Hanamaki’s shoulders as he watches, and how Iwaizumi leans a little forward, ready to jump in and catch him should he fall.

“Guys, please. I appreciate the concern, but give me room to breathe.” Anxiously, they step back. Oikawa bites his bottom lip as he holds the chair, hoping he’s positioned it at the right angle for Matsukawa to shuffle into. 

“Thank you.” Due to the length of his legs, his feet are flat on the floor, but he offers some kind of support. Even if he can’t move or feel his legs, it’s a flat surface that stops his legs from dangling and swaying as he puts one hand on the wheelchair and scoots closer to the edge of the bed. He can feel the mattress dip at an angle, indicating that if he shuffles further, he’ll roll sideways off the bed.

“Phew… This is harder than I remember.”

“Are you okay?”

“I will be. Oikawa, can you turn the chair so the front corner of it touches the bed?”

“Like this?” He adjusts it into position and Matsukawa nods with a hum of gratitude. He stretches on arm as far across the seat of the wheelchair as possible, knuckles bent to keep his fingers out the way. His other hand curls into a ball, as close to his hip as possible so he won’t be doing the arm-splits when he transfers across. 

This is what rehabilitation was for. This is why he’s built up upper body strength for three months.

“... This is gonna look really awkward, but even if it _looks_ like I’m gonna fall, don’t intervene until I actually _am_ falling. You gotta let me do this alone.”

“Of course.”

“Sure!”

“O-Okay…” Hanamaki is already biting his fingernails, so as Matsukawa rocks back and forth to get ready, he shoots Hanamaki a soft smile.

“You don’t have to watch, Makki.” With a tiny nod, Hanamaki walks out the room. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be there, but he can’t bear to watch if Matsukawa _does_ fall or miss. He’s already fallen enough. 

Just _hearing_ about what had happened had made Hanamaki’s heart leap into his throat and his stomach twist with a burst of acid. There’s a thump from the bedroom and he hears Oikawa asking Matsukawa if he’s okay, and a reply of _“yeah”_ , before Iwaizumi pokes his head out the door.

“He’s in. We’re good to go.” Hanamaki sighs, all of the tension leaving him in one fell ‘whoosh’ of air. His usual grin is back in place, and he stuffs his hands down the sides of his pants again - completely ignoring the fact he has functional pockets.

“Let’s get this plan in action!”


	5. Arm/finger wrestling.

As soon as they’re out the front door, Matsukawa takes in a deep breath. The fresh air is cold and stings his lungs, but it’s never felt _better_. This is his freedom, after three months in hospital and 2 weeks 4 days at home. He’d love to stretch his legs. Metaphorically, of course.

“So… Where are you guys leading me?” He wheels after them, strong arms pushing round the wheels on the smooth pavement. Thick gripping gloves slightly too large for him make sure he’s able to hold the wheel tight enough to turn it, without injuring his hands. 

“We were thinking of going to that ramen place you like. If you still want to~.” Matsukawa chuckles and looks up at Oikawa as if to question when he _doesn’t_ want to go to his favourite eatery of all time. 

“As long as one of you is paying. I, uh, I didn’t bring any money.”

“No worries! Consider it Captain’s treat!” 

“Oh? Is he meeting us there, because I don’t see _Yahaba_ anywhere around here.” To make point of his tease, Hanamaki puts his hand above his eyes and looks around dramatically, as if scoping for a coin instead of their underclassman. 

Oikawa’s jaw drops and stares at him blankly as Iwaizumi bursts out laughing, but carries on walking at the front of the group.

“Makki... I am _**shook**_! We haven’t graduated yet! I’m still Captain for now!” Hanamaki and Matsukawa snicker in unison, more amused by how Iwaizumi is still trying to muffle his laughter up ahead, and ending up in little fits of giggles.

“Hoo boy, Oikawa, I’m not sure how to tell you this, but buddy, we are graduating _very_ shortly. I’m not sure you can call yourself the captain anymore.” He trailed off with surprising seriousness, and Matsukawa glanced worriedly up at Hanamaki. 

He was solemn. The space between his thin eyebrows was pinched with thought, his nose crinkled as it always was when Hanamaki was sad. 

The truth was, their time was coming to an end. Their high school lives would soon be over and they’d be heading in different directions. Iwaizumi was going off to a University down south in Okayama, Oikawa was going to Tokyo, Hanamaki would be travelling the country, and Matsukawa…

He stopped, wheelchair rolling to a slow halt. What- What was he going to do? He’d been planning on a sports scholarship to the university in Iwate. Now… 

His eyes dropped to his legs, covered with a blanket since he wouldn’t be able to feel if they were getting too cold. How could he play sports like this?! He’d be lucky if he could even twitch his toes! 

It was like his entire future had just been cruelly erased before his very eyes, powerless to stop it.

“ _-sun..? Ma_ ttsun? **Issei!** ” He snaps out of his thoughts with a jolt and a gasp, eyes wide but pupils small as he takes in his friends crowding around him. 

Or rather, Hanamaki on his left holding the wheelchair still and crouched down with his other hand wrapped around one of Matsukawa’s, and Iwaizumi standing to his right, two fingers pressed against his neck to check his pulse, and a phone in his other hand, ready to dial an emergency number. 

“I- I’m okay, I’m okay…” Dark brows furrow at him and Iwaizumi hesitates for a moment.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, y-yeah… I just… Just got distracted for a moment.” Hanamaki splutters as he squeezes Matsukawa’s hand a little tighter, afraid to let go.

“Distracted?! You almost started hyperventilating!”

“It- uh- It was some pretty deep thinking.” Oikawa glances over his shoulder from where he’s been protecting them, making sure no one interferes, with a perplexed pout on his lips. Matsukawa hates having that look directed at him. 

It means Oikawa is thinking, _scanning_ him, like some kind of mind reading computer. It’s creepy.

“You were thinking about what you’re gonna do for Uni, weren’t you?” Matsukawa shudders because that is _spot-on_.

“I’m glad we’re friends, because I’d be terrified to be your enemy.” Oikawa sighs and holds his hands out as if to surrender.

“We’re just worried about you. Now that you can’t get that sports scholarship, what are we gonna do?” 

“Wait, _we_?” Iwaizumi lightly chuckles and squeezes Matsukawa’s shoulder.

“Of course. We’re in this together. Any way we can help, we’ll do it.” 

“Whether it’s studying or emotional support, you can count on us!” His eyes water up a little bit at Hanamaki’s encouraging grin and thumbs up. 

“You guys… Thank you.” They shoot him a grin or smile or smirk of their own, and carry on walking, Matsukawa grunting in effort as he pushes the wheels round. It’s much harder to get going from nothing than it is to just keep wheeling.

With a little effort, they manage to make it the restaurant. His shoulder ache, his stomach muscles scream, and his upper back really needs stretching until something clicks, but he _did it_. Even if Iwaizumi had pushed him across the roads, insistent that he should accept help for something that dangerous, Matsukawa had made the trip from home to food.

“Do you have any idea how much I’ve _missed_ good food? No offence to Ma, but there’s a reason I do all the cooking in the house.”

“Well, now you can gorge yourself until we have to roll you home.” 

“You might have to anyways. My arms are _killing_ me.” They’re taken towards the back, and Matsukawa awkwardly shuffles out of his chair and onto the bench-like seats. He groans as he flops against the wall on his left, letting his arms drop by his side. 

Oikawa sits in next to him with flourish whilst Iwaizumi folds up the chair and puts it safely aside, Hanamaki watching so he knows how to do it if he ever needs to.

“You okay, Mattsun~?” He drops his head onto the table, again letting his arms droop by his side.

“Feed me. I’m too weak to use my own chopsticks.” As Hanamaki slides in opposite him and Iwaizumi opposite Oikawa, there’s a flick to his forehead and he opens one eye to see Iwaizumi drawing his hand back.

“We haven’t even ordered yet.” 

“Yeah, stretch out and relax until food gets here. You’ll regain your strength.” Matsukawa snorts, but lifts his arms to drape across the table anyways. 

He stretches them like a cat, all the way to his fingertips, which Hanamaki cheekily presses back against. Matsukawa narrows his eyes at him and pushes back, until they’re having a full-fledged thumb war, just… With every single finger.

“Give it up, Issei! I’m gonna beat ya!”

“Bitch, I did not do three months of physical therapy, rehabilitation, and working out to lose to someone who’s never won an arm wrestling match.” Hanamaki gasps in mock offence as Iwaizumi sniggers and Oikawa cackles.

“Wow! First things first-!”

“He’s right though, Hanamaki.”

“Betrayal! I can’t believe this! I _will_ win!” 5 minutes later sees Hanamaki fake-sobbing into his arms with defeat, Iwaizumi very sarcastically patting his back as Matsukawa shows off his arms, sleeves rolled up and posing. Oikawa humours him by pretending to swoon. 

All in all, just their usual antics.

It’s so… Comfortable and normal and _routine_ , that Matsukawa almost forgets about his legs until he goes to lightly kick Hanamaki under the table. He can’t move them. They don’t respond. Slowly, his face drops from a victory smirk into quiet loss. 

His mouth suddenly feels dry and clammed with cotton wool.

“Mattsun…?” Oikawa’s calloused, warm hand lands flat against his arm. He jolts at the touch and twists to look at him, great concern swimming in Oikawa’s eyes. 

Sure, their Captain might be cheeky and silly at times, but his true strength is in how much he cares for his team, for his _friends_. He knows them and loves them, and in times like this, he supports them with everything he has.

“I-... You think I’d be used to this, after so long. I- I just… I forgot that _it_ had ever happened and I felt like- like myself again…” Oikawa frowns, the space between his brows furrowing and the bridge of his nose crinkling like it does when he’s processing what to say before he says it.

“I think it’s okay to forget. I mean, yeah, it’s happened, and nothing can reverse it, but… You don’t have to completely fixate upon it when we’re like this. Your disability doesn’t make you any less _you_.” Matsukawa turns his gaze to the table, eyes wet and bottom lip wobbling even as he bites into it. 

The only thing that stops him drawing his arms around his chest in an attempt to curl up and disappear is Hanamaki holding his hands gently but firmly.

“It feels like it does though… I-I mean… Not less of a person, but less- less _me_... I think I lost a part of me f-from the moment I fell…” He hiccups, and that’s it. The floodgates open and he starts quietly sobbing, burying his face in his forearms. 

Oikawa’s hand moves to his back, rubbing slowly and comfortingly. Hanamaki leans over slightly to press his lips against Matsukawa’s knuckles, gentle kisses of reassurance placed on rough skin. 

Iwaizumi has to stand up to reach Matsukawa, and there’s not much more he can do than ruffle his hair, but Matsukawa knows that had he been sitting next to Iwaizumi, he’d be wrapped in warm arms right now. Hell, he could really use a hug right now.

“Oikawa, hug me…” He hiccups through his speak, pulling his hands away from Hanamaki to twist towards Oikawa, and is instantly squeezed half to death. He can only just breath, but this? This is nice. He feels safe. He feels like he can fall as many times as he needs to, because they’ll always be there to support him and drag him back up.

His legs don’t work and his heart hurts, but he’s sure he’ll feel okay with friends as amazing as this.


	6. Not okay.

He isn’t okay. He is nowhere _near_ okay. It doesn’t hit him how _not_ okay he is until another two weeks later.

He can barely summon the energy to move from bed, but he can’t sleep. He doesn’t join in with conversations much, because everything he says is dull and short. He can’t understand how they joke and laugh and carry on as normal because… He feels so numb… Like he’s surrounded by a bubble and everything is muted. It’s like he’s being slowly sucked into the void.

“Mattsun?” He jerks his head up, blinking at the light and wincing when he realises how sore he feels. He must have been lying on his front for a while now. 

A glance at the clock reveals he’s been lying motionless with his face stuffed into the pillow for almost an _hour_. He’s supposed to turn over every twenty minutes. 

With a low groan, he pulls his legs onto his side and sends a low energy smile to the three standing in his bedroom doorway. It doesn’t reach his eyes. Oikawa holds up a store bag, bulging with contents.

“We brought snacks! Your Ma said you weren’t eating much?” The corners of his lips twitch downwards a little more, like a facial shrug. He has been eating. Kind of. Maybe. He’s been picking at the meals his mother brings him, pushing it around in the bowl or on the plate and nibbling on parts of it… Surely that qualifies as eating?

“You haven’t been outside for over a week.” Iwaizumi’s voice is tinged with accusation along with worry, and Matsukawa somehow manages to shrug his shoulders. He went in the garden a few days ago. How many? 5? 6? Oh no, wait… 9 days ago. Shit, Iwaizumi was right. 

“Jus’ haven’t felt like it…” Hanamaki crouches right by his face and Matsukawa rolls his eyes as the other appears to be _scanning_ him. Hanamaki is nowhere near as skilled as Oikawa at this though, and hangs his head with a short sigh of defeat.

“I dunno what’s going on, but it seems like you’re spending more time alone, even when we’re right here.” Matsukawa blinks. He stops. 

His lips form a small ‘o’ shape because it feels like Hanamaki has just completely summed up how he feels. 

Alone. 

He feels alone and isolated and empty, and even though he knows he’s only doing it to himself, he can’t stop. It’s like inky blankness swirls at the corners of his vision and drains all the colour from his world, muted sounds and blurred motion feeling a world away. _It’s hopeless_ , voices whisper constantly in the back of his mind. _Just give up_ , they say. 

Matsukawa listens to them sometimes. He lies still in his bed and wonders if it’s even worth existing when he can’t do anything anymore, when he has no interest in a life where he can’t play volleyball. 

He’s tired. 

He’s _exhausted_. But… 

He also doesn’t want to suffer like this anymore. He licks his dry, cracked lips to reply and his voice croaks because he hasn’t used it in so long.

“I-... I do… I do feel that way… But I can’t- I can’t stop it, I’ve lost control, I just- I just want to _feel_ again…” He’d be ashamed to admit this to anyone else. It’s hard even just saying it to them. But… He thinks they’ll understand. They’ll try to, no matter how hard it is. 

“It could be depression.” Hanamaki and Oikawa snap their gaze to where Iwaizumi is picking up clothes off the floor, either folding them or putting them in the wash basket. Matsukawa slowly pushes himself up onto his elbows so he can see. 

“Depression…? You- You think I have…?” Iwaizumi chucks a sock in the wash basket and then turns to Matsukawa, nodding seriously. 

“I did some research on paraplegia. About 20 - 30% admit depression affecting them after paralysis, though the time it sets in varies greatly. I think, maybe, you’ve had it all along. Since you first learned about your paralysis. But it’s getting worse now, to the point where it’s affecting you.” 

“... You might be right, Iwaizumi, but- but what are we going to do? How can we help?” 

“Is there anyway you _can_ help?” Iwaizumi breathes out steadily - the same way Oikawa does before a serve - and holds up a hand, raising a finger for each point he makes.

“Firstly, we can make sure you’re eating the right things and following a sleep schedule. We can’t _make_ you sleep, of course, but just having a routine will help the chemical misfires in your brain sort themselves out. Secondly, we’re going to start taking you outside more, even if I have to lift you into that wheelchair myself. Thirdly, talking about it. No-one goes from 0 to 60 in a blink of an eye. We can help you before you even get to around 25.”

“Iwa-chan, what measuring system are you using?” There’s a tiny bit of a tease in Oikawa’s voice, but before Iwaizumi can answer him back, Matsukawa manages to butt in.

“No, I think I understand. I get it. The using numbers thing.” Iwaizumi smiles softly at him with a grateful nod, and Hanamaki leans a little closer, resting his head against Matsukawa’s thigh. He can’t feel it, but he can see it. Hanamaki shuffles to get comfortable and tilts his head to look up at Matsukawa.

“What number are you at now…?” Chewing on his bottom lip, Matsukawa thinks hard about it. He can barely sleep. He’s barely eating. He feels like he’s sinking. He doesn’t feel the need to hurt himself or die, but he does feel like a worthless waste of space.

“... ‘Bout a 52.” Hanamaki winces with a slight flinch and Oikawa murmurs _“Ouch”_ before repeating it with a whine as Iwaizumi gently smacks his upper arm.

“My fourth and final point is that we can help you get help from someone else. A support group or a professional. Maybe even scope out some online forums. I found a few disability blogs you might be interested in, just so you know there are others like you out there, and pick up a few tips from the people who’ve fought their way through this. No better teacher than experience.”

“Thanks, Iwaizumi. Can you- Can you send me the links…? I- umm- I’d like to get started on that as soon as possible.” He must have said something wrong, because Iwaizumi’s face stretches into a cunning grin that promises trouble.

“I’m glad you’d like to get started. Because guess what? We’re dragging you outside whether you like it or not!” As if under his command, Oikawa claps his hands and fakes a maniacal laugh, trotting through to the bathroom to start the bath running. 

Hanamaki pushes himself off the floor and goes over to the wardrobe. Iwaizumi promises to make some good food, and goes to the kitchen. 

As much as Matsukawa would like to be annoyed with them for springing this on him, he’s also grateful. 

“Hey, Hanamaki…?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” Hanamaki snorts and throws a shirt at Matsukawa, the atrocious neon green abomination landing on his face. Tugging it off, Matsukawa shoots him a half-hearted glare but Hanamaki only grins back.

“Don’t thank me. Oikawa came up with the idea to drag you out, Iwaizumi’s the muscle and ‘leader of operation’. I’m just the tag along.” 

“... You’re so much more than that, ‘Hiro. You’re my friend. My best friend. I- I couldn’t do this without you. Without any of you!” Something was blossoming in his chest. Something good. It felt warm. It felt like Iwaizumi’s hugs and Oikawa’s trust and Hanamaki’s laugh. It felt like having them close and never letting go.

“Bath’s ready!” Hanamaki grinned at Oikawa - who popped his head back through the doorway - and gave him a thumbs up. 

“He’s good to go!”

“I- What? Wait! I never agreed to any of this!” Despite that, for the first time in what felt like an era, there was happiness in his voice. Oikawa called down the stairs for Iwaizumi since Matsukawa still wasn’t up to moving into his wheelchair - so much effort… 

It was a little uneasy at first, considering Matsukawa’s legs were deadweight and he’d built up muscle in his upper body, but Iwaizumi was strong. Oikawa walked with them to make sure Matsukawa’s head wasn’t knocked against any doorframes, although his feet did knock a picture off the wall. He didn’t mind. 

It was only one from back when he could stand on his own two feet.

“Easy, easy…”

“Stop pestering me, Oikawa. We’re practically there.” Iwaizumi squeezes himself and Matsukawa through the sliding door into the changing area, and although they might have seen him naked in the team showers and multiple Onsen trips before, it’s still deeply embarrassing to have them help him _undress_. 

He’s showered off, with Oikawa washing his hair and Iwaizumi scrubbing his back, before he’s elegantly lowered into the bath.

“You okay on your own? I gotta go rescue the food before it boils over.”

“Of course. I’m fully capable of sitting up.” Iwaizumi nods and dries off his hands and arms before chucking the towel over Oikawa’s face and walking off with a warm chuckle. Oikawa pulled the towel from his face with a dramatic pout, scoffing with fake annoyance. He flops right into a seat next to the bath.

“Iwa-chan is so rude, talking as if I’m not here.”

“Oh? You’re staying here?”

“I’m _‘supervising’_ , because I have nothing else to do.” Matsukawa huffs in amusement and leans back slightly, his back resting against the slope of the tub. 

Wait… Slope? His bath is a traditional Japanese bath… They don’t _have_ slopes! He tries to twist and see what’s behind him, but all he can see is a… A white squidgy thing? Oikawa notices his confusion and smiles softly.

“It’s a special disability wedge. Specifically for people with back problems or paraplegia. We thought it would help, cus then you can get in and out the bath alone!”

“That- That’s incredible… Thank you.” Oikawa grins and sits back against the bathroom wall, probably daydreaming about volleyball as Matsukawa soaks in the water, hot but not too hot, and comfortable. He feels clean. He feels lighter. He feels… A little bit better. Not significantly, but it’s something.

“Foods ready!” The call from downstairs almost echoes, and then the bathroom door is thrown open as Hanamaki appears in with a selection of clothes over his arms.

“Ayyy, I hope you’re ready to look fly!” Matsukawa rolls his eyes as he shakes his head in amusement. Slowly, he pulls himself up the slope of the disability wedge until he’s on the edge of the bath, and pulls his legs around so that he’s facing Oikawa, who wraps him in the towel like a burrito.

“... You do realise that I need my arms to move, right?”

“No worries! Makki will dry and dress you whilst I go get your chair!” Hanamaki grins as he takes Oikawa’s place, none too gentle as he rubs the towel though Matsukawa’s hair, laughing when he pulls it away and the usual curly locks are even more of a bird's nest than normal. 

Matsukawa playfully glares at him, getting only a tongue stuck out at him in return. Hanamaki pauses when it comes to drying Matsukawa’s abdomen, staring at the catheter with wide eyes.

“Umm. Was it- Was it actually safe for you to have a bath?”

“Huh? Oh, shit. I didn’t even think about that… But yeah. It’s a Suprapubic catheter, so short baths are okay, I think.” He shrugs and gently lays a hand over his abdomen, careful of the tube. He’s not exactly shy about it, but it does feel weird to have someone staring openly at it. 

“You _think_?”

“It’s not exactly new! It’s healed, so it should be okay.” As Hanamaki dries off his legs, Matsukawa nibbles his bottom lip. His catheter has actually been with him a while… It should need replacing soon. And that means a trip to the hospital. He accidentally shudders and Hanamaki looks up at him in concern.

“Nothing, nothing…”

“Obviously not nothing. Did I hurt you?”

“... Takahiro, you absolute _plum_ , I have no feeling in my legs. How could you _hurt_ me?” 

“... Oh. Still though. You looked like you were in pain for a moment.” With a sigh, Matsukawa pulls on the shirt Hanamaki left by the side - a dark blue button up.

“Just… To get my catheter changed, I have to go to-... To hospital.” Hanamaki’s hands still, and he sighs lightly as he pulls the towel away before standing up. With an unusually serious expression, he pinches Matsukawa’s nose, just enough to tweak it gently.

“You dummy. We’re here for you. If you want one of us to come with you, just ask. And if you’re scared, we’ll tell you it’s okay and protect you. You’re not alone, Issei.” Matsukawa smiles a little and chucks his clean underwear at Hanamaki, whom catches them. 

Since Matsukawa can’t bend down fully thanks to his catheter and needing to balance, he needs Hanamaki’s help to put them on.

“I’m gonna have to hoist you up to get them over your asscheeks.”

“Hoist me up. Hoist me up inside.” Hanamaki bursts into a mixture of cackles and wheezing as Matsukawa grins proudly. 

In the time it takes for Hanamaki to calm down, Iwaizumi has already plated up and set out the meal of Okonomiyaki for each of them. Oikawa sits patiently in the kitchen doorway, glasses on as he reads through a newspaper. 

After putting Matsukawa’s wheelchair in the small changing area of the bathroom, he came downstairs to relax where the smell of food was strongest.

“Oi, if you’re just going to lounge about, get out of my way.” Iwaizumi tries to nudge Oikawa gently out his way, but Oikawa only hums noncommittally and leans back against his legs. Raising a brow, Iwaizumi steps to the side and Oikawa squawks as he tumbles backwards.

“You couldn’t give me five more minutes?”

“I’m trying to get these drinks on the table.” He gestures to the tray balanced on one palm, held above his head like a waiter. Shuffling out the way, Oikawa secretly admires his best friends strong back, the way his uniform shirt ruffles around his shoulder blades and the fabric drops like a waterfall where his waist tucks in, since Iwaizumi refuses to tuck his shirt into his trousers.

“Iwa-chan really should get in more trouble at school.” Coolly, Iwaizumi shoots him a soft glare and a slightly agitated confused sound.

“Because you don’t follow the uniform code.”

“Well, excuse me for being comfortable.” Oikawa sniggers as Iwaizumi puts the drinks on the table next to each of their plates.

“Did you bring clothes to change into?”

“Of course. That _was_ part of the plan.” He glances over the table and nods, proud of his work. At that moment, Matsukawa wheels in with Hanamaki behind him, both looking a little pale and frightened from getting down the stairs with just the two of them. 

Although the stairlift with wheelchair platform is easy to use, Matsukawa has an irrational fear of the platform dropping off and his wheelchair freely rolling down the stairs, killing him in the process.

Sure, it’s completely irrational, but it’s a fear that his friends acknowledge and try to help him through by sending the wheelchair down first, and carrying Matsukawa down separately. 

Just until his fear calms down a little. 

With one person alone, this means piggy-backing Matsukawa down every step. Hanamaki might be strong, but even he’s nervous at carrying a _person_ down stairs.

“We survived! Miraculously.” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and Oikawa simply stares, wondering how Matsukawa can relate going downstairs to a near-death experience when he’s actually _had_ a near death experience. 

Or maybe that’s exactly the problem. Falling down the stairs means _**falling**_ , something he’s probably not keen to do again. Taking a deep breath, Oikawa places the newspaper aside and heaves himself to his feet, bouncing over to the table as he removes his glasses.

“Let’s eat~! The food looks great!” Iwaizumi smiles a little in thanks, although he thinks he’s wiped it off before anyone caught a glimpse, unaware they all saw it. Honestly, he can’t just accept praise like anybody else; he just _has_ to act so cool and unaffected.

“And it should still be warm. Eat up.” Hanamaki kicks aside a chair to make room for Matsukawa’s wheelchair, and since the table is pretty low anyways, the others just kneel in place to eat. As it is with most hungry teenagers, the food doesn’t last long at all. With a loud burp, Hanamaki is first to finish.

“Makki, that’s gross!”

“My compliments to the chef.” 

“Thanks…” Iwaizumi’s sarcastic snap has Hanamaki flash a grin and peace sign, his other hand resting on his full belly. He’s a little bloated, but that’s what he gets for scoffing it down so quickly and gulping his drink in one go. 

Oikawa lays his chopsticks down next, thanking Iwaizumi for a lovely meal. Iwaizumi says nothing, but the tips of his ears burn red.

“So... You said you were dragging me out, but are we actually leaving the house?” 

“Give us a moment to get ready~. You just wait here.” Matsukawa shrugs as he slumps in his chair, the other three grabbing bags from the hallway and pushing past each other to get upstairs, changing clothes ready for the big surprise.

They’re in high spirits, and there’s no reason they _shouldn’t_ be. This moment drawing closer, they’ve been planning for weeks. They can only hope Matsukawa likes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment? ;v;


	7. Blindfolded.

A little uncomfortable with the blindfold over his eyes, Matsukawa taps his finger on the arm of his wheelchair, listening to the engine rumble beneath him. Where his friends had managed to find a taxi service with disability access, he didn’t know, but it seemed almost as if they had researched and planned this. It wasn’t just sprung on him like he’d previously thought.

“So… Where are we going?”

“Mattsun, do you not understand the point of a _surprise_?”

“Urgh. I’m just bored.” There’s the distinct sound of a bare hand patting clothed flesh, and Matsukawa is sure that Iwaizumi just pat his leg somewhere. The supportive gesture is appreciated, even though he couldn’t feel it. 

Iwaizumi usually communicates through touch, and the whole team knows that a pat on the back or leg is basically him saying to cheer up, have strength, hang in there. 

“We’re nearly there~.” Oikawa is sitting in the seat in front of him, and Hanamaki next to Oikawa. He knows this only because they _forgot_ to put the blindfold on until halfway to wherever. Still, it’s a long journey, and he sighs. 

Tapping his fingers on the slight edge of the window, he manages to create a whole musical piece by the time Oikawa announces their arrival.

“So can I take the blindfold off _now_?”

“Not yet, we’re gonna set something up first!” Matsukawa groans, massively over the top, slamming his head back against the supporting headrest. Hanamaki reaches over to poke his shoulder, laughing when Matsukawa swats him away since he never saw it coming.

“Just hang in there, bud. Oikawa’s just outside finishing some stuff up, and Iwaizumi’s paying.”

“.... Paying? Are we visiting somewhere we have to pay? Hmmm… Not a community gymnasium then…”

“Nope!”

“A- A swimming centre?”

“No, but that’s a good idea for next time, if you’re allowed to.”

“Sure. Hydrotherapy is super relaxing. I can ask for a intermittent catheter for a few days. We’ll have to plan that in advance though. Like, seriously in advance.”

“You got yourself a deal!” Matsukawa chuckles warmly, happy to be in Hanamaki’s presence. Again, he feels warm. He feels safe, content, and loved.

_Loved?_

Realisation hits him like whatever he fell on to break his spine, and he gulps. Well, shit. He loves Hanamaki. He _loves_ Hanamaki.

And if he loves Hanamaki… His heart skips a beat because _oh shit_ , he feels the same way about Oikawa and Iwaizumi. He can feel his cheeks and the tips of his ears burning, unaware that they’re a bright red. Hanamaki can quite clearly see it, but respectfully says nothing. 

“Makki, Mattsun! Come outside!” There’s noise behind them as the ramp on the taxi is extended and Matsukawa almost shrieks as he’s suddenly going backwards, hands going to grab the wheels until he realises someone is pulling his chair down the ramp in a controlled manner. 

He breathes out to calm his pounding heart, jumping to the conclusion that he might be at risk of a heart attack.

“Never... Do that again…”

“Hm?”

“Never move my chair without warning me _ever_ again! I thought I was going to die!” There’s a moment where Oikawa blinks, not understanding why Matsukawa is so angry. And then he realises it’s not his job to understand. It’s his basic human courtesy to _respect_. 

“Sorry, Mattsun! I won’t do it again! Promise!” Once they’re out the taxi, Matsukawa relaxes in the wheelchair, letting Oikawa push him where he needs to go. After all, it wouldn’t be wise to try and steer blindfolded. He sighs and rests a hand in his chin. He’s not angry with Oikawa - Not really - but in any case, a warning would have been nice. 

Any sensation of falling makes him uncomfortable. Makes him _panic_.

“Ready to get that blindfold off?” With a laugh, Matsukawa reaches up to tear the material away.

“I’ve been waiting for you to say that for the past hour!” There are fingers catching in his hair as Oikawa unties the knot, Matsukawa trying not to shudder at the soft touch delicately brushing the back of his neck. As the cloth falls away, light blinds him, and he closes his eyes tightly against the harsh rays.

When he opens them, he gasps. There’s no doubt that the building in front of him now is one he hasn’t seen for a long, _long_ time, but at a different angle. 

“The science and space museum…” He looks over his shoulder at the other three, wearing equally sappy smiles and shifting around nervously, afraid Matsukawa won’t like his surprise. 

“You never got to see the planetarium side, did you?”

“I- I didn’t…”

“Did you want to?” Oikawa’s almost breathless question makes Matsukawa stop. He’d been trying to reach the planetarium section when he fell. He’d been seeing stars in a daze when he woke up in hospital. He’d been seeing _galaxies_ in his friends.

But he’d never seen a whole universe until he imagined them together, and even then, he had no references to go off. Shrugging, he smiles back at them.

“Sure~.” Relief falls over the other three in different ways. 

Iwaizumi breathes out deeply, one hand on his abdomen. Hanamaki drops his head back and sighs to the sky, whilst Oikawa visibly sags with a whisper of _“Praise be to Oha Asa and my lucky item.”_ Chuckling softly, he isn’t so sure why they needed him to go inside so badly until he actually _gets_ inside.

“Surprise!” His jaw drops and his eyes water. There, standing in the lobby, holding up a giant _"Welcome back!"_ banner covered in glitter and ribbons and paint, is what he’s been missing most. No, _who_ he’s been missing most. 

The whole team. 

Yahaba and Kindaichi hold up the banner, although Yahaba is having to stretch on tip-toes. Kunimi lazes underneath, hunched up as glitter rains down on his head and stands out against his dark hair. Kyoutani stands near him, wisely wearing a hoodie to protect himself from the glitter. Watari, at the front of the group with his usual beaming smile, holds out a neatly wrapped present for Matsukawa.

“Wh-What the fuck, guys?! This is amazing! You- You assholes, keeping this secret from me!” He playfully punches the person closest to him, which just so happens to be Iwaizumi, who only laughs unabashed and rubs at his arm. It’ll bruise, but it’s _so_ worth it to see the expression on Matsukawa’s face.

“We knew you must have missed them, so…”

“They were the ones that set this up! Our job was just to get you here~!” Matsukawa wipes away his tears with the heels of his hands and a choked sob of glee.

“This is- This is the best day of my life… Get over here, you plonkers. Come and get a big ol’ hug.” He opens his arms wide with a tearful smile and there’s a pause before they’re all clambering around his wheelchair, careful not to squash the present Watari deposits on his lap as they hug him warmly and get a firm squeeze back in return.

“I love you guys.”

“We love you too, dork. So stop ditching school and come see us some time!”

“We swapped lunch spots with another group so we’re in the [word] now, instead of on the roof~.”

“Pl-Please join us again, Senpai! Even if it’s not at volleyball!” Suddenly, the atmosphere drops. They go silent, swivelling their heads to Kindaichi, who seems to realise his mistake and claps both hands over his mouth as Kyoutani nudges him via elbow with a gruff grunt.

They look back to Matsukawa. He has his head back against his chair, eyes closed, and breathes deeply. Slowly, a genuine small smile dawns on his face. He looks back to Kindaichi with kindness.

“I will come back, I promise that. And it won’t be at volleyball, that much is inevitable. But I will _always_ be there at your matches to cheer you on. Number 2 player to Number 1 fan sounds kinda like an upgrade, doesn’t it?” The group chuckles, and Yahaba even goes as far as to ruffle Matsukawa’s hair, now that he’s taller. 

Unfair, because he was _standing_ , but Matsukawa had ruffled the 2nd years hair enough times to make this once acceptable.

“Issei! Let’s go in and get seated! Umm. Or. Well. You know what I mean!” Oikawa passes over a ticket as Hanamaki stutters over his slip-up. It’s not the first time, but Matsukawa doesn’t mind. After all, Hanamaki looks cute with a blush splattered over his cheeks. 

The doors to the planetarium viewing area open, and the team files in with excited chatter. There’s a vendor walking around selling popcorn, which Iwaizumi buys for the whole team. Surprisingly, Kunimi gets the biggest size they sell, whilst the rest settle for medium.

“I can’t wait to see this, I’m so psyched! I didn’t sleep properly last night because I was too hyped up!”

“That’s not healthy, dummykawa. Sleep next time, or I’ll tell your mother.”

“You’ll tell yourself?” Iwaizumi gives Oikawa a stern look, giving him only seconds to take back his words with a nervously giggled apology. Iwaizumi’s gaze softens, and as the lights go down, Matsukawa thinks he catches them unconsciously leaning in towards each other. 

That doesn’t distract him from how Hanamaki fully rests against his side, though, head resting on Matsukawa’s shoulder.

Smiling, he melts into the touch and rests his cheek against Hanamaki’s head as the dark space above them bursts into light, a deep voice announcing the start of the show with an boom of _ **“SPACE.”**_

Someone squeaks in surprise and Matsukawa thinks it might have been Kindaichi, if the fact Kyoutani - sitting in the seat in front of him - is covered in popcorn means anything.

“The final frontier. Born from a collision of matter and antimatter-” Matsukawa sighs and listens as he watches the dazzling display above. Stars and constellations and galaxies and nebulas… He watches, his breath stolen, eyes wide and heart pulsing. He can see why Oikawa loves space so much, when it draws forth a reaction almost as strong as love itself.

How could anyone not love the beauty of the universe? 

As terrifying as it is to feel so small and insignificant, Matsukawa learns he is made of stardust, that everything originated from two single elements, that the death of a star can be seen millions of years later, and he feels _enlightened_. 

Small and insignificant he may be, but there’s something about knowing everything is made from the same material that boosts his confidence yet simultaneously humbles him. 

It’s as the lights are coming back up and he’s looking at Oikawa that he realises there are stars in more places than the universe all around them. They’re in his _eyes_ , and Oikawa looks beautiful. He, Hanamaki and Iwaizumi are collectively more stunning than the whole display he’s just watched, and Matsukawa sighs softly with a smile.

“Beautiful…”

“Yeah, it really was, wasn’t it?” He hadn’t realised he’d spoken aloud until Hanamaki responded, breaking his daze. With red cheeks and burning ears, Issei coughs to cover his embarrassment and sheepishly rubs the back of his head.

“Y-Yeah.” There’s a soft snicker from behind and- _oh no_. Yahaba’s expression says that he’s worked it all out, knows _exactly_ what Matsukawa is thinking. Fortunately, Watari is there to prevent any damage from being done, and ushers Yahaba out of the isle with a meaningful glance directed at Matsukawa.

He internally groans, because if even the nicest member of the team is giving him those looks, then it means he has to something about it or soon. Otherwise, he’ll have to risk the second years ‘helping’ him out, and nobody wants that.

“Ready to go?” He looks up at Iwaizumi with a sharp nod, swallowing when he saw that his sleeves were rolled up, ready to put all his strength into getting the wheelchair back up the ramp they had initially come down into the planetarium area. 

Matsukawa was slightly relieved, because the ramp had been _steep_. Even with his new strength and upper body bulk, he’d struggled to stop the wheelchair from free-gliding all the way across the open stage.

The second years lead the way out, Kyoutani still brushing popcorn and glitter from his hoodie as the first years follow them, Kindaichi stuttering apologies until Kyoutani gruffly reassures him that it was an accident, no harm done. Kunimi munches on the rest of his sweet popcorn, treating the interactions between them as if they were the show itself.

Iwaizumi, obviously, is behind his chair, although he’s let go now that they’re on flat ground. Even further back, bringing up the rear of the group, Oikawa and Hanamaki chatter between themselves, excitedly talking about what they’ve just witnessed from both a scientific and art standpoint. Iwaizumi occasionally interjects, with a warm remark or loud laugh, and Matsukawa feels…

Good. He feels _happy_. Even if he’s having to push the wheels of his chair around, he feels a little more like himself. That thought in mind, he slowly to a halt, masterfully spinning around to face them. 

Iwaizumi barely manages to stop in time, almost walking straight into him as he’d been looking over his shoulder at Hanamaki and Oikawa, who wear matching expressions of confusion.

“I- uh- I just wanted to let you guys know, uh…” He trails off, not sure if now is the right time and place. Maybe if they’d still been in the planetarium, and the younger years weren’t there, he would have confessed without hesitation. But as it is now, it’s not the right time.

“Mattsun?” Oikawa questions with a hint of concern, and Matsukawa once more clears his throat. Even if he can’t confess just yet, he can at least give them good news.

“20.” 

“Huh? What…?” Hanamaki is visibly perplexed and Oikawa frowns with thought, but Iwaizumi’s gaze instantly softens, his eyes almost glimmering as a kind smile blooms on his face, dimples and creases appearing in place.

“That’s great~. Coming here really helped, huh?” Matsukawa laughs lightly, falling into place next to them as they walk in a straight line, Hanamaki on the right and Iwaizumi on the left, with Oikawa between him and Iwaizumi. 

He looks up at the sun on the horizon, streaks of purple, pink and orange painting the sky with colours almost as magnificent as the planetarium display. 

“It did. It really did. I- I couldn’t have done it without you.” He glances over at the younger years squabbling over seats in the minivan, Yahaba and Kyoutani both vying for the front seat whilst Kunimi casually spread himself across three seats just to stir up trouble as Watari pleaded him to move out the way so everyone could fit in. 

Kindaichi pretends none of this is happening as he scrolls through his phone.

“Without _any_ of you. It means a lot that you’d do this for me. _Thank-you_.” He’s tearing up a little as he speaks, but nowhere near as much as Oikawa. 

Then again, Oikawa always has been easily moved. Hanamaki’s shoulder tremble, but no drops escape his eyes. Iwaizumi pats Matsukawa’s shoulder, proud and sturdy, before he goes to sort out their ridiculous kouhai.

“Alright you lot! Watari, up front! Yahaba, middle seats, Kyoutani, at the back! Kunimi, sit up properly before I have to come in there and sort you out! Kindaichi, choose a seat please.” At his command, they scramble into place, Watari looking very pleased to have earned the front seat and beaming smugly at Yahaba, who only sticks his tongue out in return.

Hanamaki and Oikawa grin cheekily and race over, Matsukawa going as fast as he can behind them, and he laughs as the two jump into place either side of Kunimi on the three-seater row. The first year looks physically pained and wheezes out _“God, no.”_ , but the damage is done. The damage. Is. Done.

“Matsukawa, hurry up, we still have one last place to go!” Bewildered, Matsukawa scoots his chair around to the ramp at the back, Iwaizumi and the taxi driver helping him get into place and secured before Iwaizumi jumps in the back and settles in the seat just in front, patting Kindaichi on the shoulder in greeting. 

Matsukawa muffles a snigger when the first year winces and rubs his shoulder as soon as Iwaizumi isn’t looking.

As the taxi engine revs up, he suddenly realises something. Raising his voice, and cupping his hands around his mouth, he makes sure Oikawa and Hanamaki can hear him.

“Oi, did you forget the blindfold again?”

A beat of silence.

_“...Shit.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment~! I don't bite unless it's kinky!


	8. New futures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter~!

Matsukawa believes he’d have to be an idiot not to recognise the building looming in front of him as soon as the blindfold is whipped off once more. 

“Why are we at the school?”

“You’ll see~.” Oikawa’s enlightened beam does nothing to ease Matsukawa’s suspicions as he, Iwaizumi, and their kouhai jog off into the building. More specifically, into the building and then through a hallway that leads into the _gymnasium._ Only Hanamaki remains with Matsukawa, positioned to make sure he doesn’t follow after them too early.

“Takahiro, you had better tell me what we’re doing here before I run you over.”

“It’s just part of the surprise! Relax, we wouldn’t do anything we know you’d be hurt by.”

“True, but… I haven’t been back at school in so long... You’re not gonna have every bit of work I’ve missed piled up in the gym, are you?” Hanamaki laughs, a deep sounding from his belly, louder than it probably should have been and interrupted with snorts.

“I wish we’d done that now!” Okay, so it’s not an ocean of schoolwork. Could it be…?

“Am I just here to watch a match?” Hanamaki bites his tongue, and Matsukawa huffs in response. Incredible. They’ve brought him here to watch volleyball. Admittedly, he’s missed volleyball, and he’d love to cheer them on from an audience, but… It’s different to be involved in an audience at a game than it is to watch his friends playing alone, from the same level.

“I- I appreciate the thought, but…”

“Just give us a chance! Please! It might not be what you think!” With a sigh, Matsukawa sags in his wheelchair, deciding what to do. Of course he trusts them. But the itch to play is still there, and if he’s condemned to just watching… He might cry with the need to join in but inability to do so.

“Alright, I’ll see what you’re planning. Don’t be too upset if I just turn round and wheel out though.”

“Of course not. That’s your choice.” Matsukawa nods, and then there’s a loud shout from the direction of the gym. The words are indistinguishable, but the voice is definitely Oikawa. Hanamaki perks up and takes his hands out his pockets in excitement.

“That’s our signal! Let’s go go go!” He takes off, jogging slowly enough that Matsukawa can keep up. After all, he doesn’t exactly have a sporting wheelchair. Maybe he should look into that… Oikawa waits at the gymnasium door, bouncing up and down in childish glee with the doors suspiciously closed behind him.

“Ready?! Ready~?!” Matsukawa takes a deep breath. He can hear the squeaking of shoes on the gym floor, the ball impacting the floor, the soft thud as it’s received and calls of _‘One More!, Nice Save!, and Cover Cover!’_ Through the door, there are a few voices he doesn’t recognise, but that could just be distortion. He exhales slowly, opening his eyes.

“I’m ready.” He lines himself up with the doors and Oikawa dramatically opens them, light from the gym flooding out in the dusk. His eyes fly open with a gasp and it almost feels like he’s being blown away for a moment, fringe blustered into a whisp by a gale. 

The team _is_ playing. But they’re all on the same side, rotating members around if they score points. The net is lower than normal, almost touching the ground. There are two sporting wheelchairs lined up across the gymnasium, out of the way. The other team is adults, in a red and white uniform that mimics the national team. 

There’s one more important fact. Everyone is _sitting down_. They’re playing sitting down volleyball, not using their legs at all. He can see that a couple on the side of the adults manoeuvre with legs like his- Legs that don’t respond. They must be the owners of the wheelchairs across the hall.

“Introducing… The National sitting down volleyball championship team!” Matsukawa clutches at his chest through his shirt, teardrops wetting the material as they stream down his cheeks. 

He’s so _touched_ , that they would do this for him. He watches them play, and seeing that there’s strong, disabled people like him playing _volleyball_...

It breathes life back into his withered, strangled heart. He could- He could still play, right? 

The game comes to a halt with the sitting down team winning, and they cheer before four of them jump to their feet and stretch out, going over to compliment the high schoolers on their good attempt. 

One guy fetches the wheelchairs, bringing them over to the two still on the floor, and Matsukawa watches as they pull themselves into their chairs with _ease_. 

God, they could probably wrestle Iwaizumi to the ground and make him **admit** defeat, with upper body strength like that. There’s a heartbeat where Matsukawa doesn’t register that the woman in the number 1 shirt is rolling towards him, but when he does, he near panics.

Is she going to talk to _him_!? What does he say?! What if he makes a bad impression?!

“Matsukawa Issei?” He gulps, almost squeaking before he clears his throat and answer.

“Y-Yeah, that’s me.” Hanamaki, the bastard, snickers at the way Matsukawa clearly trembles. He can’t help it! He’s face to face with a intimidatingly strong woman that could bench press him in two seconds flat. He’s slightly _terrified_.

“I’m Yuzukawa Chie, captain of the sitting down volleyball team for World Paravolley. We have two teams. Class D - disabled, which is made up almost entirely of paralysed member. There’s also the MD team - Minimal disability. They’re mainly leg amputees or our members with no physical impairment.”

“Wa-wait, why are you telling _me_ this?” Yuzukawa huffs in amusement and gestures towards Oikawa, who only sheepishly grins.

“Your own captain pestered me via phone calls, emails and letter that I had no choice but to come and see this ‘amazing, strong and immensely talented’ individual.” Matsukawa blushed deeply, turning to screech at Oikawa.

“Why would you say those thing?! You’re so embarrassing!” With the same growing blush, Oikawa squawked back with matching enthusiasm.

“Shut up, I’m proud of you!” Both of them are making he same high-pitched whine and hiding their faces in their hands in embarrassment, with Hanamaki howling with laughter in the background and Iwaizumi sighing. There were many things he regretted in life. Whilst his friends were not one of them, their _antics_ were at least 75% of his stress and regret.

“Calm down, both of you. My apologies, Yuzukawa-san. As skilled as they are, they’re still idiots.”

“Iwa-chan, mean!” Yuzukawa giggles a little, offering a hand for him to shake. 

“No worries. So, what would you say about your teammates skill?” She gestures to Matsukawa with a simple jab of the thumb, and Iwaizumi’s expression instantly softens.

“He’s an amazing player. Although he plays Middle Blocker on our team, he can easily adapt to other positions. His spike is strong and he has excellent control over the ball. Not to mention how he can force the direction of an opponent's attack by laying on massive pressure. Quick thinking, too. He’s saved our backs a few times.”

“Interesting~... Sounds like a good candidate.” Matsukawa makes a sound of confusion, trying to ignore the heat pooling in his face from Iwaizumi’s compliments.

“Candidate for what?” Yuzukawa’s face becomes stern and strict.

“Simply put, not enough people are joining paravolley because there are other sporting options and less interest in sitting on the floor. Even if we’ll have enough for a team this year, there’s no guarantee that our older members will stay; or that we won’t need substitute players.”

“... Are you- Are you saying you want me to be a possible substitute?” Matsukawa’s heart soars, his hope grows, and he feels like he could almost fly right out of his wheelchair. 

A possible player? For an Olympic level team? It would be a dream come true, even if it’s not how he imagined!

“Quite frankly, perhaps. It depends how well you adapt to sitting down volleyball, and even then you might be stuck on the bench until you’ve earned a spot.” Bursting into a bright grin, Matsukawa rediscovers what it feels like to be alive, even if he knows this feeling will fade, coming and going whenever it wishes.

“That-! I’d be honoured to accept!” Yuzukawa grins boyishly and leans as far forwards as she can to clap him on the shoulder, a move that has Matsukawa physically flinch because _fuck_ , she’s strong.

“Training is on Thursdays 6 to 9pm at the Minato-ku sports centre in Tokyo. Think you can make it?”

“I’ll do my best!” Oikawa laughs and ruffles Matsukawa’s hair, making sure he has his heart-melting smile in place when he addresses Yuzukawa. 

“We’ll make sure he gets there safely!” With a nod, the captain of the Paravolley team wheels over to join her teammates in gathering up their bags and items. 

Matsukawa is left breathless in his seat, stunned by the whirlwind of events and absolutely blown back by the sudden way things are looking up. There’s a soft laugh to his left and he turns to see Iwaizumi smiling at him with stars in his eyes.

“Happy with your surprise?”

“Over the _moon_!!! How did you do it?!” Hanamaki and Iwaizumi point to Oikawa with the same deadpan expression and not a second of hesitation. He sheepishly laughs and waves his hands around as if trying to dispel the fact it was mainly him.

“Iwa-chan gave me the idea! And Makki found the contact info! I just… Kept on pestering~.”

“Yeah, he annoyed someone other than me for once.”

“That’s slightly rude, Ha-ji-me.” Iwaizumi does nothing more than puff his cheeks out in irritation at the way Oikawa says his name, but that can’t hide the redness on the tips of his ears. Matsukawa and Hanamaki snicker in unison. His obvious crush on Oikawa is _hilarious _. And adorable.__

__Matsukawa chances a quick glance around the room. Their kouhai are in the changing rooms. The sitting down team just left. He, Hanamaki, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa are now alone. And Matsukawa is still bustling with energy._ _

___Now._ _ _

__Now is the perfect time to tell them. He takes a deep breath like before and wheels around to face them._ _

__“So, I- I have something you tell you. More than just a thank you.” Hanamaki frowns in concern, especially since Matsukawa radiates nervousness._ _

__“Issei…?” Oikawa and Iwaizumi stand to attention, the same worry sparking between them when Matsukawa breathes out like he’s about to enter an exam hall._ _

__“I-... I like you. All three of you. Um, romantically.” He scrunches his eyes closed, fists clenched as he waits for their rejection. What he gets are three very different reactions, in the order of Iwaizumi, Oikawa then Hanamaki._ _

__“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that?”_ _

__“Nooooo! My plans! I wanted to confess first!”_ _

__“Wait, I thought we were already dating?” Three pairs of eyes turned to Hanamaki, who stood there in utter confusion. At their stares, he blushed and held his hands out as if asking what he did wrong._ _

__“We were-! I thought-! Are you kidding me!?”_ _

__“... Makki, if we were already dating, don’t you think we would have _kissed_ by now?!” Hanamaki spluttered and hides his face behind his hands, dropping to his knees with a false sob._ _

__“I don’t know! It was just so natural, I _presumed_ we were already dating!” Matsukawa burst in laughter._ _

__“That would have been so much easier to confess if I’d known that!” Even Iwaizumi looks to be relieved, although he still has his arms comfortably crossed over his chest._ _

__“Then I guess there’s no hesitation in saying that we’re officially dating _now_?” There’s unanimous agreement, and just like that, they’re boyfriends. _ _

__A beat of silence is followed by them simultaneously bursting into laughter at the predicament, and how simple it was, despite the way they’d individually stressed over it. Or, in Hanamaki’s case, not even know._ _

__“I think you should know, I just want to say that you guys are the best friends I’ve ever had and I love you so, _so_ much.” Oikawa is instantly pulled into an affectionate headlock by Iwaizumi, his hair ruffled intensely and Hanamaki hollers a ‘whoop!’ as he jumps over to join in, knocking them both to the floor. _ _

__Iwaizumi groans from the bottom of the pile, Oikawa breaking into peals of giggles, and Hanamaki grinning in victory as he send Matsukawa a cheeky thumbs up. His own laugh echoing in the nearly empty gymnasium, Matsukawa realises he’s okay with everything that’s happened to him._ _

__He lost his legs, but his best friends were there to give him comfort and support, and now he has a better outlook on life. He has a _future_. He has them by his side and in his heart, just as he’s in theirs._ _

__On Iwaizumi’s scale of 0 - 60, Matsukawa can comfortably say that right now, in this moment here with their laughter, enthusiasm and love? With what they’ve done for him and the future they’ve led him to?_ _

__0._ _

__He knows it won’t stay that way, but with Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and Hanamaki by his side, he knows they’ll help him fight to keep the number low. He loves them._ _

__He _loves_ them and he loves them back, and that means everything to him right now._ _


End file.
